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A forever sleep

Why does it feel more peaceful to die?
It's harder to live and im too tired to cry
Tears no longer salty
Fears no longer faulty
I'm wanting peaceful slumber
I don't feel I can do this any longer
I feel exposed, useless, and frail
I'm trudging through a daily hell
My core is shrinking and the flavor is gone
How much must I carry, and for how long?
I see glimpses of me
In my kids in my family
Small glimpses of hope and joy
Why has it not found me?
Feels like a dream
A nightmare.... Replaying
I want to feel peace
But it isn't coming.

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